So excited to share my birth story with you all! Our surprise girl Alba Blyth Millar was born at 10.14pm on Monday 9 October at 41 weeks and 1 day and weighing 8lb 15.

Alba was born at home in a planned freebirth, just myself and my husband. It was very intense and unexpected in a lot of ways, but also so powerful and such an incredible and empowering experience. I’ll share more about our journey to freebirth, including how we got to that point and the preparation and support I had in place, in another blog but for now I’ll tell you all about the birth itself.

For some context, I have four other babies two of which came at 41+3 and two of which came at 41+4. My first was a long and medicalised birth in hospital but my last three births were very quick - an unplanned homebirth (BBA), a planned homebirth with midwives and another planned homebirth which turned into a BBA as it happened so quickly. I’ve shared those stories in previous blog posts. BBA by the way means born before arrival (of midwife), in case you’re not familiar with the maternity jargon.

So what I fully expected this time around was a baby to arrive at either 10 or 11 days after my due date. And to arrive super quickly (the last was 2 hours from first contraction).

On the morning of the 9th I went for a massage as I had a lot of tension in my jaw, neck and shoulders that I wanted to get worked on before having the baby. Firemoon Holistics by the way, if anyone is local, highly recommend. The massage was amazing and I felt so much lighter afterwards. Just what I needed. I thought I felt a couple of contractions while I was there actually, but I had been getting them on and off for a week so I didn’t think much of it.

I had planned to pop down to see my friend after I got back but I messaged her to say I was feeling a bit of pressure and was going to stay home and have a bath, although I didn’t think it would come to anything. Just after I sent the text and started to run the bath my waters broke and I started to feel a bearing down sensation. That was around 2pm and I thought things were going to happen pretty quickly just by how it felt compared with the last times. My husband called my mum to collect the two littlest ones and she came and got them about 5 minutes later. The older two were already at their dads that day. I think we all thought it would happen within the next hour or so.

I went in the bath and had some more contractions. And the waters kept coming and coming and coming - which continued throughout the whole day. I couldn’t actually believe there was any left by the end. The contractions were really sporadic, sometimes coming thick and fast and sometimes with bigger breaks in between. I kept feeling like I needed to change position from laying back to leaning forward. I just went with what I felt and I found the water helpful. I also used calm breathing techniques and just chatted with my husband and tried to relax as much as possible. I stayed in the bath for about 2 hours then felt I wanted to get out.

We moved to the living room which is where I really wanted to be to have the baby and where the last 2 had been born. My husband had it set up nice and cosy with my candles and blankets and pictures of my children. And I had a little paperweight that belonged to my granny which I held on and off and it brought me some comfort. My granny passed away earlier in the year and it made me feel connected to her in some way.

For the next 4-5 hours I was contracting on and off. And still the waters kept coming and coming and coming - so much of it! Always clear which was a good sign. Sometimes I was up and moving, sometimes I was sitting down and at times even lying on my side. I really just tried to not overthink anything and just tune into what my body was telling me to do. This is why I am wary of recommending specific positions to people as I think you can get hung up on overthinking it. It’s definitely best not to be laid flat on your back of course, but I think the key is tuning into what your body is telling you to do in that moment.

Although it had been hours I didn’t really feel like it had been that length of time, I was quite unaware of the time in general but I definitely felt it was a lot longer, more intense and just different from the last three. Because we were on our own and I guess with nobody else to ask for reassurance it was important for me to keep checking in with myself and my baby which I did regularly throughout the day. Was the baby moving still, how did I feel and really importantly was I still feeling safe? And the answer was always yes, everything felt right even though it was much longer and more intense than I had anticipated.

Around 9pm-ish I felt the baby was coming down and felt that urge to bear down again. This again felt different to the previous times where the fetal ejection reflex kicked in and the babies were literally out within minutes. It felt like there was much more effort required - not forced pushing as such - I was still just going with what my body felt it needed to do - but definitely more of a concentrated effort to bring the baby down and out. And the noise - wow - the noises that came from me were unbelievable (sorry neighbours). I was aware of the noises but it felt like they were coming from someone else - as if I was somehow outside of my body. It felt like I needed to be making those noises to help bring that power into bringing my baby into the world. I never felt scared or that I couldn’t do it, which I think people often think is the case and strive for a quiet and peaceful birth. It wasn’t quiet or peaceful as such, but I felt at peace with what was happening the whole time. I reflect back now and wonder if I had been in hospital giving birth or with midwives in attendance if I would have felt able to let go in the way I did. I’m not sure I would have. And I wonder how this might have impacted the process.

Finally I could feel the head coming so I got my husband over to help catch the baby. He was a little concerned about the blood he was seeing and let me know about it, again I checked in with myself and baby and asked myself if I felt safe still which I did. The next few pushes took me to the absolute limits of my soul, this sounds so dramatic but it was genuinely like an out of body experience. And then baby’s head was out. But the body somehow felt like it wasn’t quite coming and I asked my husband for some help to gently guide the body out which he did.

And then she was here, our surprise baby girl was earth-side. The cord was wrapped twice around her neck which initially worried my husband but I knew this was completely normal and just calmly unwrapped it and brought my baby girl into my arms and up to my chest. I talked to her and patted her little back until she came around and let out a little cry. The feeling was absolutely euphoric!

I was seeing and feeling quite a lot of blood and so I decided I would like to call the midwives at that point. My intention had always been to wait until after the placenta delivered, as this is where things had gone wrong last time due to the midwives interference, but I would always call them sooner if I thought I needed some help. After I came off the phone the placenta came away really quickly and easily and I felt such a sense of relief as I think that was the part of the birth I was the most worried about. Again, there felt like a fair bit of blood and so I took a herbal tincture I had been recommended and also placed a piece of the placenta in my mouth (which actually wasn’t as bad as I expected, although my husband had to leave the room so he didn’t throw up). Whether it was because of this or that the bleeding had just naturally slowed a lot by the time the midwives arrived I’m not sure but I felt totally fine by then and wasn’t concerned at all about the bleeding.

Both midwives were absolutely lovely, so respectful and efficiently and kindly carried out their checks on myself and baby and then left us to enjoy our new little addition - and a wee glass of champagne to celebrate!

Alba’s birth was genuinely the most amazing and powerful experience of my entire life. I am so glad I chose to freebirth and I’m so glad the birth unfolded exactly as it did. All the tools and support I put in place for myself paid off and I am really proud of myself. I am also so grateful to my husband for trusting me to birth in this way, it was a huge ask of him and I will never forget his loving support!

Thank you for all the kind words and well wishes for myself and baby Alba - and thanks for indulging me by reading my story!

Mandy x